


Present

by mcrningstar



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post 2x04, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 08:09:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcrningstar/pseuds/mcrningstar
Summary: For someone who always has a longer Christmas list than most kids, Sam is really humbling down this year: all he wants, is his husband back.





	Present

**Author's Note:**

> Now that the anticipated but possibly also dreaded Christmas episode is upon us, here is my take on how it would ideally go down. It's probably mostly wishful thinking, but on the bright side, if the Steammy content ends up being disappointing, I gotchu!! I also wrote this right after 2x04 premiered, so there are no spoilers for the episodes after that. :)
> 
> I used a bunch of prompts found on Tumblr for this, credit to whoever came up with them:  
> "You're everything to me" + "Do you promise?" + "It's been a while." + "Too long." 
> 
> I hope all of you enjoy, and in case I don't post any of the other Christmas one shots I have, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

**”I NEED TO GO ALONE.”** Sammy Jo hadn’t really expected five fairly small and simple words to sink his entire heart to the lowest circle of Hell and have it torn to shreds, yet as he stared at the apologetic twinkle in his husband’s eternally beautiful eyes, that was exactly what happened. Time slowed down, almost to a point where it felt like everything paused, even if the man before him kept on talking and caressing his cheek with delicate fingertips, and as much as he wanted to revel in the warm touch while he still could, he found himself growing numb, even to the salty tears that began to burn behind his eyes. He forgot how to speak, how to even breathe, really, as much could be concluded from the painful tightening in his chest where his aching heart, against all odds, still sat, albeit cracked. 

He couldn’t blame Steven, and more importantly, he wouldn’t. How could he ever judge the love of his life for wanting to figure out who he was, to collect the shambles he had been left in? But that begged another question — how was he ever going to survive saying goodbye? Because as much as he knew that this demanded a whole new level of understanding and support from him, he couldn’t stop himself from giving in to the temptation to cry as Steven explained how he needed to travel back to Paraguay, for God knows how long, all alone. And Sam, he didn’t know whether to be heartbroken by the idea or horrified by the lonely nights ahead or utterly guilty for considering either of those options, instead of being the encouraging husband Steven needed — now, if ever. 

A part of Sam couldn’t comprehend the words that left Steven’s mouth, they were merely a buzz to him, a blur that he was too afraid to solve, yet at the same time, every syllable was sharp and another stab at his soul. It was a strange balance, mostly because Steven was the furthest thing from violent or hostile — he was so indescribably good and patient and worthy of the world, instead of having to carry it on his shoulders, and his voice was softer and warmer and smoother than any wine or hug or pillow. He was kindness and love wrapped into one man, a man that Sammy was lucky enough to have as his, and that was exactly why it hurt so much to realize that inevitable distance was what the future held for them. 

Steven made a wary move to lean in then, tender and careful as he did, but Sam didn’t hesitate to accept him fully by flying one hand to his back and another flat on the back of his head, inviting him into an embrace that Steven melted into soon enough. With his own hands cupping both sides of Sam’s head, fingers entangling with the fluffy curls of his dark hair, he reached over the edge of the bed and cradled his husband as close to himself as humanly possible, leaving no room for air when they tried to scramble for more and more. 

The collision of their lips was nothing like they had ever had before — it was safe to say, they had had their fair share of kisses, varying from angry to blissful, from slow and gentle to endless and fiery, but this was far beyond that. This was desperate, clingy, greedy, scared. Like it was going to be their last kiss ever, and they chose to believe it wouldn’t, but as Sam’s tears spread on both of their cheeks and their noses brushed together and they kissed each other with an entirely new force, it might as well have been.

Once their lips separated, Sam buried his quiet weeping against Steven’s shoulder, softly shaking with each pained cry that already missed him, despite him still being there, holding Sam close and comforting him with the tight, sealed hug that, in its silence, spoke in volumes. They had been apart before, but not after their wedding — not after everything that had happened, and they weren’t quite sure if they could handle it. Their relationship could, they had no doubts about that, but personally, it was going to demand a lot from them. 

”It’s okay.” Sam wasn’t quite sure which one of them had broken the silence that his sniffles had started to disrupt — it could have been Steven, in his attempt to soothe his darling and relieve the longing that was already lodged in his heart, but at the same time, it could have easily been Sam. He didn’t want Steven to feel guilty or hesitate, as much as staying together, whether by remaining home or going with him, tempted him — he knew it was what Steven had to do, and he couldn’t strip him of that right, of that choice. Maybe he’d struggle to fall asleep without his head on his chest, without their legs knotted underneath the several covers, and maybe eating breakfast without him would feel hollow, and for sure he would miss his stunning smile and sassy jokes and all the love he had to give, but he couldn’t deny him this. He couldn’t beg him to stay, because it would have been selfish, yet he knew his tears were causing doubts in Steven’s head, and there was no need for that. 

It was okay.

"I don't want you to forget", Steven breathed out as he carefully broke the deep kiss, only to use the momentary space by climbing over the wooden footboard and joining Sam on the warm mattress that flexed under their combined weight. Before Sam could ask what he meant, Steven had already seated himself on his lap and rested their foreheads together, while his fingers trailed up Sam's neck and dug into his hair, "You're _everything_ to me", Steven's voice barely above a whisper, and the words quickly melting away as he held Sam's head in his hands like he was balancing the entire world on his palm and attached their lips in the sweetest manner possible. 

Sam wasn't granted the opportunity to respond anything equally romantic, but it wasn't only because of the flattered swelling of his heart, but because of Steven gently nudging him down to his back, the fiery kiss never breaking, but rather, only growing deeper. Instinctively, Sam's hands flew to his hips to support him and to hold him closer, and as he tilted his head to make Steven's effort easier, he couldn't help but close his eyes and smile against his mouth — a ray of light seeping through the worry that had began to flood darkness into him.

It wasn't until the Carrington sat back up, straddling Sam, but just to grab the hem of his soft sweater and tug it over his head, leaving his hair a tousled mess and merely sweetening the deal when his reddening lips curved into a happy grin. Maybe it was because of Sammy staring up at him in complete bliss, subconsciously working the buttons on his own shirt, or maybe it was because of the adoringly spoken words that took the turn to stir the silence above their shaky breaths. "I love you", Sam vowed with affection, never tired of saying it, and Steven never tired of hearing it. They didn't have to go far to find people who repeated those words to their loved ones for the habit of it, but with the two of them, it was always genuine, it was always a valuable reminder and spoken with such love, it was impossible to not radiate with admiration.

"I love you too", Steven hummed before ducking back down with both of his hands grabbing Sam's cheeks, though it didn't take long for them to slide down to his husband's revealed chest — on the other hand, it didn't take long for Sam to pull away, but not because he wasn't tempted by the kisses he had dreamed of for so long.

"You have to call me whenever you can, okay? And if something happens, I don't want to hear it from Anders. And if you need me, at any time, just—", Sam inhaled deeply, his eyes closing for a second as he crawled to sit up again, but he was, by no means, putting an end to the night they were going to enjoy while they still could do so in one another's arms — and before Steven could fear so, the newest addition to the Carrington family began to run his smooth hands up and down his strong arms and gave him a pleading look that wasn't far from puppy eyes. "Do you promise?"

Already nodding, Steven inspected the concern visibly painted in the many hues of his lover's eyes, and with the sympathetic frown on his lips, it was easy to trust him in keeping his word. "I promise, Sam, of course, I do. I'm gonna miss you too", the brunette confirmed with his fingers rising back to his husband's cheekbones, the pads of his thumbs wiping away the remains of his tears as he gave a firmer nod to back up his words. Sam wasn't going to be the only one struggling with being alone — of course, both of them were going to be surrounded by people, but none of them really compared to each other. Still, Steven knew he had to go, and perhaps that was exactly why it was so painful, because he couldn't hate the option of leaving. It was important to him, and in the end, surely worth the hardships. But that didn't really take away the yearning that had already started to build up in his soul, nor the fact that letting go of Sam for a while, after all the drama that had made them need each other more than ever, would most likely result in sleepless nights, if nothing else.

But for now, as they fell back to the pillows and sheets, they elected to focus on the here and now, nothing more, nothing beyond the feeling of infatuation and euphoria in every possible form of it.

————— 

**A PART OF SAM,** selfishly enough, hoped to wake up in the relieving realization that he had only dreamed of Steven saying his goodbyes — even if the exceptional passion that had been created by the heartache hadn't been bad at all — but instead, he was woken by the sound of his husband packing his bags. He wasn't the kind of flashy guy to take all of his nicest belongings with him, unlike Sam, yet the sound of his bag's zipper and the constant huffing from digging through their closet eventually got Sam to open his eyes with a groan, only to find Steven folding his clothes. The sight had a similar effect as last night, causing a piece of Sam to die inside, but instead of voicing the storm raging in, he chose to rub his eyes awake while sitting up against the headboard of the bed and gesturing at Steven's neat stack of shirts. 

"Please tell me you took that pink sweater with you. It would be a travesty if the rest of the world didn't get to see how painfully cute you are in it", the dark-haired man yawned, though him even being up in the first place amazed Steven, whose eyes widened when they caught Sam following his every move. 

With a chuckle, the Carrington set down the luggage in his hands and stepped across the room to join the bed, a teasing smirk on his lips as he slumped down by Sam's legs. "Pretty sure it's too hot there for sweaters", he reminded, and although Sam didn't hesitate to sigh dramatically, the smile that followed his disappointed shrug was less serious. 

"I'll get to cuddle it, then. Maybe I'll put it on a pillow that I can hug", he plotted with a light voice, well-capable of making Steven laugh in a way that encouraged him to drop his head down and cover his face with both palms. The giddiness was exactly what Sam had gone after though, in an attempt to rid his spouse from the second thoughts he was undoubtedly having — Sam knew he wasn't making it any easier for Steven to leave, and while the desire to stay attached by the hip had hardly faded away, he knew this wasn't about him. It was about Steven, for once in his life, and as conflicting as it was, he respected that.

"Don't worry. I may not be here physically, but we can always talk on the phone or videochat. And I'll send pictures", Steven sighed once the laughter ceased, fond gaze meeting Sam's, but the latter didn't meet him halfway with the gentle warmth — on the contrary, his eyebrows shot up and it didn't take long for a smile that was a little bit of amused and a little bit of taunting, to flash at Steven, who was quickly understanding how he had worded his promise. "No, that's not—", he chuckled again, but before he could finish his argument, Sam was shushing him and sealing the distance between them with eager lips.

"No, no, no", he insisted with a whisper, before placing another soft kiss on Steven's mouth, "I'm expecting all kinds of content so I don't miss you too much."

Unable to stop himself from grinning in pure adoration, Steven glanced down at Sam's lips when he finally moved away, but as silence filled the room, they, unwittingly, came to the realization that they wouldn't share another morning like this for a while. Neither of them said it out loud, but it became the sole truth lingering in the air, how Sam wouldn't be able to wake up to Steven's dashing smile, how Steven couldn't tempt Sam up from the bed by disappearing into the shower, how they couldn't surprise each other with breakfast in bed, how they wouldn't be able to prepare for the upcoming day in the security of a warm embrace. They were things that they were both going to miss, and while they couldn't make it all happen anymore, Steven could still part his arms and tip himself across the mattress enough to haul Sam into a loving hug.

Both of the men shared deep sighs as they closed their eyes and settled into the deep hold they didn't want to sacrifice, yet they knew they would have to, eventually. But until then, they sat there, tangled together, equally quiet but capable of knowing exactly what both were thinking — that being apart was a scary thought, that no matter what would happen, there would never be anything that mattered to them more than this right here, the warmth and comfort of each other, the love that flowed between them. And when the aching in his heart would get too grand to handle, Sam could look back to this very moment and remember how desperately Steven was clinging to him, how his strong yet gentle body felt under his fingertips, what a heavenly scent he was adorned with, how beautiful he sounded through only his breathing. As much as Sammy loved kisses, Steven's in particular, _this_ was the best feeling in the world, unmatched by any other kind of relief or support or joy.

—————

**AGAINST SAMMY JO'S WISHES,** the time for Steven to leave had arrived no matter how much he had tried to stretch the day and keep the man by his side. There was no denying that Steven had been just as reluctant to turn his back on his husband, but when that guilt had crossed his starry eyes, Sam had swallowed all his fear and hesitance and put on a brave face. "I'll be here waiting for you. You do what you need to do, okay? Don't worry about me, or anyone else. Just worry about yourself, Steven", he had pleaded, though the hopeful tone he had intended bled through to his words more persistent in nature, as if he wasn't going to accept any other option. And that wasn't so far from the truth, after all. As much as it _sucked_ to say goodbye, he wanted Steven to enjoy himself, find a peace of mind and come out alright on the other side. The distance between them would surely cause suffering for Sammy, but he would have chosen his own misery over Steven's any day of the week.

The first days turned out to be the hardest, much like they had predicted. Sam tried to grant Steven the opportunity to settle in Paraguay and take a bit of a step away from the life he had put a pause on, but his heart had burst with life when the Carrington had done the opposite — as much as he wanted to loosen his ties to Atlanta, Sam was not a part of the things he was willing to let go of, which was why had been more than actively keeping in touch. He had called as soon as the private jet had landed, he didn't miss a single good night text, and he had even attempted to make Sam laugh with his own selfies with Alfie — that had been more endearing than anything else, though, and even if the Jones had undoubtedly stifled a few chuckles, seeing Steven's radiant grin and the happiness in his eyes had only clutched his heart and made his eyes sting. They already missed each other more than they had been prepared for, but they were trying their best to make it work.

Nevertheless, it was easy for the rest of Carrington Manor to detect the distinctive melancholy surrounding Sam's usually bubbly personality. He wasn't brooding around the clock, but it had become the new normal for him to be sucked into his thoughts deep enough for Fallon's snarky comments to go unheard by him, and offers of the last croissant uncared for.

In fact, it was the mornings and the evenings that Sammy struggled with the most. Waking up alone in the big bed he was used to sharing with Steven didn't feel good at all, neither did getting ready by himself, and sitting next to an empty seat at breakfast only reminded him of the miles between him and his spouse. Alexis had offered to accompany Sam on their side of the table, but when the man had sternly demanded that _no one_ try and replace his husband, the Carringtons no longer even glanced at the deserted chair in the fear of the man lashing out. 

During the day, though, he was kept occupied by whatever the busy family had planned, but when the sun began to set in the horizon and the action in the house faded into calmness, the longing surged in his chest yet again. Falling asleep without Steven's arm around his waist had turned out to be a great challenge, one that was difficult to overcome, and his absence was spinning nightmares that Sam couldn't even be consoled through. It was just him, his own thoughts and that pink sweater he hadn't hesitated to grab immediately on the first night by his lonesome. Talking to Steven did help — momentarily so, because as soon as the texting ceased or the phone calls ended with a ton of praise and several _I love you_ s, he felt so utterly alone and unable to even blink without that horrible pit in his stomach expanding to an abyss that was bound to engulf the man.

"Sam?" Having his name called out snapped the brunette back to reality from the dream world he had become more and more immersed in, and as his eyes slowly but surely focused on the woman seated opposite him, he concluded that it hadn't been the first time Fallon had attempted to capture his attention. Perhaps it was the frustrated stare directed at him, or the irritation of her tone that sank in only then, but either way, it was safe to say that minutes had passed with him chewing the same piece of his sandwich and the people around him gradually exiting from the breakfast table. 

"Huh?" was his simple, aloof answer as his soul plummeted back to his body, causing him to become aware of his surroundings again — from the distant arguing between Blake and Alexis as they made their way through the living room to the clink of Fallon's spoon as she methodically twirled it within her coffee cup. The moment felt like reality again, and truthfully, he wasn't quite sure if that was what he wanted.

Although Fallon responded by rolling her big eyes, Sam could easily spot the flicker of empathy nestled behind the diva — it was because he knew that she, too, missed Steven. They just happened to show it in very different ways. "I said, are you planning on sitting here the whole day? Because God knows that's no way to lose all the calories you've already devoured", she tilted her head to the side as her thickly painted lips quirked in a teasing smirk, but despite the characteristic sass she was using to fill a Steven-shaped hole in their home, it failed to faze Sam who simply sighed and dropped the remains of his breakfast to the porcelain plate by his elbows.

”I just miss Steven”, Sam defended himself, but he lacked the biting edge that tended to roll off his tongue effortlessly. Instead, what he had meant as a defiant retort, sliced the air with faint sorrow, matching the frown on his lips as he rested his jaw in his hands. In his opinion, the struggle to adapt was well-justified, though — he had grown used to having someone by his side, although not every second of the day, but whenever he needed him. Whenever he had something on his mind, be it a funny photo he saw online or a scary thought he couldn’t shake away, Steven was there. Now, he was drastically further away and littering his notifications with a ton of messages that lost their significance by the time they’d gain a reply, was not worth it. 

Not to mention, after everything that had happened starting from their wedding day and ending God knows where, they had relied on one another more than ever. They needed it, and to suddenly be cut off of that unlimited supply of care and solace, was a change Sam was losing a fight to. 

”Oh, we’ve heard”, Fallon’s singsong tone was nothing short of teasing, although she didn’t specify if she was referring to the heartbroken sniffles that had risen from Steven and Sam’s calls, or something else entirely. Either way, the latter wasn’t given the time to do much more than shoot a narrow glare at Fallon when the much-anticipated ring of his phone made him flinch on the chair, and within seconds, he was digging his pocket only to find an adorable photo of Steven buzzing on his screen. 

It was like someone had flipped a switch — in an instant, the flat mood in the air was sprayed with something refreshing, and the sunlight seemed to shine into the room a little brighter as Sam broke into a grin and pushed himself away from the table with a screech of his chair. Fallon was long forgotten by the man, but whether or not she’d admit it, she didn’t mind. If anything, it was good to see Sammy lighten up a little, and get confirmation that her brother was still alive, even if far. 

”Hi, Sam”, Steven’s excited voice echoed through the large hallways that Sam found himself wandering with a smile as big as the moon plastered across his face and his eyes attentively flickering from one corner of the screen to another, making sure he got to take in every pixelated but still gorgeous detail of his husband’s face. The smile on his face was much larger than Sammy had remembered and his eyes no longer seemed so weary — it seemed that a little time away from the dramatic lives of the Carringtons was working its magic, and it sent waves of relief through Sam, especially when he reminded himself that he was helping, too, just through FaceTime. 

”How are you? You look great. You look amazing, actually”, Sam heaved a breath, and along with it, the things he had been holding back all morning, ”I miss you.” But even if there was a twinge of sadness behind his softly spoken words, there was a whole lot of love to balance the scales, and his lips didn’t fall from the enthusiastic smile as he eyed Steven with a look of admiration. To be frank, there weren’t many things Sam wouldn’t have done to be in the same room with him right now, to have the chance to gently cup his cheeks and draw him into a loving kiss, to feel his smooth skin and to breathe him in, to be close to him again. 

”I miss you too”, Steven lamented, though much like with Sam, the longing in his voice didn’t stop him from beaming through the screen, a hint of pink coloring his cheeks as Sammy’s heartfelt compliments began to sink in.

Snickering quietly, the man was about to ask about Steven’s day and beg for all the details, even the boring ones, but his attention was unexpectedly steered to Anders strolling towards the stairs. Outrageously giddy, Sam didn’t hesitate to launch after him, the phone shaking and making Steven chuckle as every bounce only delivered more grainy footage, until the screen was finally shoved into Anders’ face. ”Look! It’s Steven! Doesn’t he look just dreamy?” Sam sighed adoringly, but as if to confirm his own words, he was already turning the camera back to himself before the two men even had an opportunity to greet one another. Just like that, Sam was continuing his path to the bedroom he hated to have to himself, leaving behind a thoroughly puzzled Anders while Steven’s fond laughter accompanied his journey. 

”You’re ridiculous”, the Carrington pointed out as he, too, found a more secluded place to talk in — or so Sam concluded, when the noise in the background slowly died down, leaving just the two of them in the aftertaste of Steven’s affectionate teasing. They both knew that what he called ridiculous, was in fact, adorable and pulling all the right strings of his heart, and it caused wide smiles for both of them as Steven found a seat for himself, and Sam collapsed onto their bed after sneakily closing the door. 

”Do you like it there?” the latter queried curiously, but with a crease of worry lining his forehead as he inspected the ever-so calming features gazing right back at him. He suspected that he already knew the answer, given that he was lying on the bed all alone, instead of having the love of his life there with him, but making sure never hurt — and in case Steven did have something weighing his heart down, he wanted to be all ears. 

After briefly licking his lips, Steven nodded to ensure that he was enjoying his stay wholeheartedly. ”Yeah”, he breathed out, gesturing with his hands as he often did while continuing, ”I think this feels right. Not in a final way, but... for now.” It was easy for Sammy to pick on the hesitance that was easily audible even through the unreliable connection, and even more importantly, he knew that Steven wasn’t lying to him — he knew that he was genuinely having a good time, but it was the guilt of doing so that sparked the almost apologetic smile making his heart swell. 

”Good”, Sam insisted with a firm nod, trying his very best to wordlessly tell Steven that it was alright. Even if kisses and hugs were out of their reach, phone calls were still better than nothing, and Steven’s happiness was infinitely superior compared to his misery. He deserved this. ”That’s all I want for you, Steven. For you to be okay and happy and safe”, Sammy assured, and despite the sentiment his husband didn’t skip, he didn’t take more than a second to argue. 

”You’re part of that. Me being safe and happy. Just because I left...”, Steven inhaled, pursing his lips together in something weak, only for Sam to interject with an understanding, accepting nod, free of blaming and judging. 

”—You didn’t leave me. I know”, he promised, a soft smile gracing his lips as he locked eyes with Steven, who, willingly or not, couldn’t help but melt into a heartwarming expression while his deep sigh made the line crackle and his head bobbed to confirm Sam’s words. 

Silence landed between them for a hot minute, excluding the sounds of Sam struggling to roll from his back to his stomach while a sneaky yawn slipped out of his mouth. And naturally, Steven was poking at it within seconds, his concern encouraging him to stir the peace again. 

”Have you been sleeping?” he questioned with a sigh, his eyes already swimming in a dozen different shades of uneasiness as they observed Sam, who, in return, scoffed as if to be offended by the question — he shot himself in the foot by rubbing his eyes tiredly though, and in an instant, Steven's stare grew disapproving in that same manner it always did when he tried to shrug off his troubles. And how could Sam lie to him, especially when he was looking at him like that?

"Okay, no, not really, but it's okay. I mean, a little bit. It's—it hasn't been easy but I'm getting by. It's not as bad as in the beginning", he ranted, but when his frantic explanation revealed that he had been struggling even more before, Steven's eyes only widened and his lips parted only for a frustrated huff to escape. Luckily, it didn't fly past Sammy's radar, and he was quickly lifting a hand to calm the Carrington down while offering more reassurance. "I miss you the most at night, and... it feels really lonely. And, I mean... I don't miss _just_ the cuddling", he trailed off, successfully pulling a sheepish chuckle from Steven, who, despite his flustered cheeks, couldn't argue. Adoring the sparks of happiness appearing again, Sam rested his jaw on the back of his hand and shrugged, "I'm not used to it, but I don't want to be. I don't want to get used to being without you. I'll rather stay up, thinking about you."

With his gaze softening, along with the corners of his mouth, Steven shook his head. "You're too good to be true", he admitted quietly, and as Sam ducked down to grin at the mattress, he continued with, "I understand, though, and I want you to tell me, okay? You don't have to pretend like nothing changed, because I know this happened so quickly and... I miss you too. All of you. I stay up too. Even if you feel lonely, I'll always be here to make sure you're not alone", an adamant nod validating his promises. 

Sam couldn't deny, hearing that felt relieving, like he wasn't going insane — Steven was right, it was normal to miss him, and he didn't have to feel guilty about it. And, just like he had insisted, he did prefer being too aware of the absence in their bed, rather than not at all. When the yearning got too heavy to shovel through on his own, he could cling onto these moments between them, the calls and texts and pictures and videos and memories. He could hold onto the pink sweater, sleep on Steven's side of the bed, drink from his mug. 

And as for Steven, Sam was determined to ease the pain in his heart as much as he could — he himself had had a ton of second thoughts, probably more than one should, but he didn't want Steven to go through the same. When it came to choosing between some time apart to ensure that they could be happy together, and inviting Steven back home only for him to fall right back to that dark pit he had fought so hard, the latter wasn't even an option. 

"Not too long until Christmas, huh?" Sam breathed out at last, the content silence between them shattering once again as he spoke with hope, which hastily bubbled in Steven's chest, as well.

"Not too long", he affirmed with a sweet smile, before making a heartwrenchingly soothing suggestion, "until then, we can stay up together tonight. Or fall asleep together. But if we can't, we'll just talk, yeah?" Needless to say, it didn't take more than a second for Sammy to nod vigorously in deep agreement, his entire body pulsing with joy and excitement to have more than fifteen minutes with his darling, and his lips stretching into the widest smile that had blessed the Carrington Manor since Steven's leave. 

And for the first time, after a long conversation that bounced from topic to topic, they both slept safe and sound through the night, the endless call making it seem like they were, finally, side by side again.

—————

**WEEKS PASSED,** and slowly but surely, those torturous weeks turned into months, and as days on the calendar flashed by, December rolled in and Christmas came nearer and nearer. Sam had always been one to get excited for the holidays, and prepare properly through the music and the delicious food, and during the first week of the month, he had already planted mistletoes all over the house and decorated his and Steven's room with their designated stockings and tinsel he couldn't wait to wrap around the man to tug him into a fierce kiss made of Christmas cheer. But even if enthusiasm wasn't unusual for him, this year was undoubtedly bound to be a memorable one — not only was it going to be their first as a married couple, it was going to finally give them the reunion they had been anticipating through the entirety of the changing seasons. 

It was quite easy for everyone to see, too — not a soul in the manor had forgotten about Steven's return, mostly because Sammy was going to great lengths to remind everyone daily. It had become a habit for him to slide into the kitchen to disrupt the cooking by trying out his own recipes, and should any arguments make an attempt to rise within the family, Sam was swaying his way into the middle and patching up any potential cracks to ensure a safe, happy environment for his husband to return to. Sleeping no longer seemed like a challenge, food started to taste better, and while other people in Atlanta opened their advent calendars for sweet treats, Sam was counting the days, the hours and the minutes until Steven's flight would land in the city. 

Steven himself was jittery with thrill, too — he was more often than not the composed one, at least compared to Sam, but he wasn't even trying to hide his excitement this time. Their video calls had become more and more lively by the day and he had already imagined the very moment he would get to drop his bags and take Sam into his arms, touch and feel and hear him again. As much as he had loved his stay in Paraguay, and as much as he had needed it, he couldn't deny that he needed Sam too — luckily, the distance hadn't managed to drive a wedge between them, except for a physical one, but it had been quite enough to leave him desperately missing his lover. 

The journey he had begun on by himself had been the right choice, but it hadn't been a flawless one, and the biggest fault he had found in it, was the lonely nights and the inability to take Sam's hand whenever something made him nervous, or hug him when things went right. They had talked about everything and anything and not a single mishap nor victory had been forgotten, but hearing Sam's attempts to comfort or congratulate _afterwards_ was not quite as effective as having him there, by his side at all times, ready to pick him back up and never stop supporting. 

But, at last, they were moments away from reuniting. Although Steven had surely voiced his thoughts and how he was struggling to be at peace with the drastic changes in his routine and company, he hadn't been quite as vocal as Sam — mostly to not add to his stress with his own difficulties. However, well-aware of the importance of communication, they had both shed some tears during the last weeks of separation and helped one another through the worst of it, leaving them now in the knowledge that the enthusiasm they felt beat within them, was a shared feeling.

"Merry Christmas!" There was no need to doubt which of the Carringtons carried the jolliest cheer, especially when Sam smoothly bounced down the stairs in a button-up adorned with red and green, his wide grin almost reaching the heights of his styled hair and his hands clapping together in an almost nervous manner. Somehow, seeing the love of his life after all this time was filling him with butterflies, even after everything they had gone through, but it only made it better — knowing that soon enough, the twists and turns in his stomach were to calm down as he'd make his way into Steven's arms. 

Almost rolling her eyes at the man, Fallon greeted her at the bottom of the stairs, where the whole family was lining up to wait for the absent member of their dysfunctional group to step through the front door — still, none of them could lie, it was really good to have Steven back, and see that kind of pure, genuine delight dance on Sammy Jo's face as he made a silent count of all the presents he had gotten for his husband. He had bothered to buy some for the rest too, but there was no question about who had the biggest pile under the flashy, grand Christmas tree that Blake had gotten with Sam's approval and Anders had helped decorate. It had been a team effort to make the house warm and welcoming, and while Sammy was undeniably always in the mood for Christmas, they all knew, himself included, that the extra attempts were for Steven, and Steven only.

"You're gonna rip your skinny jeans", Blake commented curtly from the other side of the foyer without even glancing at Sam and his fussing around, his stare keenly on the door they were all footed before. 

The snark earned a snort from Fallon, and even though any other day the newest Carrington would have said something sassy in return, "I don't even care what you all say. Nothing can ruin today for me", was all that left his mouth now, a hint of pride lifting his jawline as he crossed his arms. It was true, too. The tree could fall and the decorations could collapse and Bo could eat the food and the presents could be stomped on, but as long as Steven would arrive, nothing else really mattered. There was a lot that made Christmas _Christmas_ , but this year, it was simply his other half that Sam wanted to make it feel right.

"Unless his flight got delayed, or something", Fallon wondered out loud, not wishing for such a scenario either, but she was electing to enjoy Sammy's unusual willingness to take the hits. 

Before a wave of dread ignited by her words could drown Sam, whose eyes grew alert and worried as they darted over to her, the sound of the door opening turned them all to the entrance of the manor. It took hardly a second for the man's entire face to light up and his heart to take an erratic route as he followed Steven enter the manor, his skin slightly more tanned and his curls grown a little more out of control, but in all other ways, he was every bit the man Sam had never pushed out of his mind. The sight of him momentarily paralyzed him with an odd feeling, like he was now missing him more than ever before, but at the same time, he was already moving, arms wide open and incredulous chuckles splitting the thick air apart as he rushed through the room. 

Steven, without even realizing, had been holding his breath, but when he turned his gaze from the floor and his bags to the row of people waiting for him, he found himself heaving an exhale. And when he noticed Sam already making his way to him, and their eyes locked for just a second, the neutral expression on his face melted into a bittersweet of mixture of both happiness and sadness and his hands automatically let go of the luggage he had insisted on carrying on his own. As the heavy bags fell to the floor, he took a step forward and that was all he had to do before throwing his arms around Sam, whose body met his with a thud that would have borderlined on painful, had they not been so utterly relieved and enchanted to breathe each other in again. 

Not sure if he was crying or if his eyes were stinging for some other reason, Steven let them fall shut and buried his face into Sam's neck, strong arms enveloping him into an embrace that was destined to last several minutes, to let them fully come to terms with the fact that they were finally here again. With one another, _fully present_ , and it wasn't just a dream or a memory or something they had pictured together on the phone. It was real, and it rendered them both soft with emotion as they cradled each other as close as possible, and even then, tried to get in tighter. At first, they were sealed together in a way that almost looked like they were one and the same, but as the seconds passed, they began to scramble for every touch — Steven's hands wandered from Sam's shoulders to his lower back and his hips, and Sam's fingertips trailed up to Steven's tousled hair and the back of his head to make it easier for him to drop his forehead against his. 

There were so many things to say, so much in Sam's mind and so much already at the tip of his tongue, so many words he could have spoken, yet what eventually was whispered against Steven's lips was, "It's been a while", as if there was nothing better and more obvious to state. But, it was a success, as it earned a sincere laugh from Steven, the sound a thousand times more beautiful like this than through FaceTime and effectively making Sam smile brighter than the sun outside. 

"Too long", Steven muttered in response, suddenly the more vulnerable one out of the two. This whole time, Sammy had had the obvious tendency to feel conflicted about the time apart, whereas Steven had been occupied enough to not succumb to the pain caused by it — yet now, as they finally stood there, it was almost like he finally realized what he had said goodbye to, what he had missed out on and what he miraculously been strong enough to let go of. And when Sam made a move to part from the hug, Steven refused to let go this time.

Rather than fighting the urge or wondering why it had suddenly awakened like this, Steven just held onto Sammy Jo a little tighter, squeezing him into his chest, and let out a heavy sigh that, in the process, released tension he hadn't even realized he had bottled up. As amazing as Paraguay had been, there was nothing quite like his husband's arms, allowing him to finally loosen his rigid muscles and relax into the hug he was unwilling to separate from.

Truthfully, a hint of dread was already creeping in as the inevitable thought of having to part ways again reared its head, but Steven was quick to push away the idea of a farewell, and focus on this moment alone — Sam's aftershave lingering in his nose, just like he had imagined, and the man's delicate but strong hands running up and down Steven's back, just like he had remembered.

"You okay?" Sam mumbled into his neck, the strands of Steven's dark hair tickling his cheek as he did, and his eyes closing once more to enjoy the peace. Though he had to admit, he wasn't quite sure if even he knew the answer to his own question, but as always, Steven's well-being was his priority, forcing the worry into his tone as he softly caressed him.

Laughing fondly, almost in disbelief that _this was happening,_ Steven nodded — or at least, it felt like it. "Yeah", he huffed, lips breaking into a blissed smile, "I just really missed you." Each word was spoken with the deepest sincerity, and it made Sam smile too, and for good reason. It wasn't like this was the first time he had cracked smile in the span of the last months, but it certainly caused his cheeks to ache in a way that had been rare more than anything else.

When they finally stepped away from one another, it wasn't because either of them wanted to. In fact, Sam wanted so many things, he wasn't quite sure where to even begin — on one hand, he wanted to just hold Steven and make sure he was really there, but on the other, his absence had sparked more than one type of longing, and having him here finally, within Sam's reach, no less, was tempting. Still, he knew that the rest of the Carringtons were yet to reunite with Steven, all of them staring at him as if struggling to believe their eyes. They had all been counting down the days so devotedly, it was like they had entirely ignored the fact that one day, it would end, that one day, they'd be standing here.

Sammy was familiar with the feeling that was rendering them all speechless and wide-eyed, how the endless options on how to react were leaving them motionless, but ultimately, how they, too, wanted and needed their moment with Steven — and who wouldn't?

That desire was the sole reason why he slowly let his arms drop from around Steven and his eyes to trail over to his luggage, before nudging the man towards his family. "Go on", he reassured, silently promising that they'd have plenty of time to catch up with a warm smile that made Steven's heart go haywire. "I'll take your bags upstairs", he whispered gently while rising to his toes to leave a tender kiss on his cheek — the gesture reminding him that their lips were yet to collide in that fluttering manner, and while it made his stomach flip, he still let go and crouched to pick up the baggage Steven had dragged in. 

And he was beyond glad to notice that this time, it was mostly the literal kind, whereas the internal had begun to fade away.

Sam was fully aware that the manor was packed with people who would have offered to take the bags into their bedroom, but he wanted to do this, wanted to be the one to grant Steven some much-deserved relief, make things comfortable for him. And, admittedly, he couldn't possibly risk the staff lingering around when the reunited husbands had already waited so patiently for some alone time. 

So, determined, Sammy shoved their door open and towed the large bag into the room, before using all of his might to lift the heavy weight onto their cold bed. Knowing that warmth was about to take place, though, Sam didn't try to hide his smile before turning around to make his way back downstairs — his travel, however, was cut short when Steven was already stepping into the room, his eyes never leaving Sam and his loving smile never faltering as his hands reached out to shut the door behind him. The sight, almost impossible to comprehend, made Sammy breathe out happily, his entire face shining with something otherworldly and irresistible. 

They met in the middle, almost in another hug but instead, Steven's hands rushed to cradle Sam's face, and the latter dropped his firm grip onto Steven's hips. As if no time or space had been between them at all, they sealed the remaining distance with a deep kiss, full of emotion, somewhere between passionate and needy, yet careful and soft all at the same time. It was a paradox — it was precisely as they had remembered, secure and nurturing, yet it was like their first kiss ever in its despair and curiosity. The way Steven's hands trailed from Sam's defined cheekbones to his fluffy hair was nothing short of familiar, but when Sam defiantly pulled him closer, the unexpected contact of their bodies earned a gasp in reaction, momentarily breaking the kiss but making him grin, nonetheless.

This very moment was every tear and laugh and smile and whisper and word and thought from their time apart, all of it, channeled into a fierce kiss with no end in sight — ablaze with intensity, but never lacking in love and the purest kind of affection anyone could ever share. They could have tried and said how they felt, but no cliché or lyric or figure of speech or promise could have matched up to what they understood through this, through the unadulterated infatuation and adoration and need to be with one another, from now until the end of times.

When they finally separated, merely for air, Steven let out a breathless laugh, his head shaking ever-so-slightly. "That was...", he inhaled, but nothing ever came out to finish the sentence, giving Sam the opportunity to interject by placing his thumb beneath Steven's jaw to lift his head up to the ceiling, his own gaze following right behind. It wasn't until they both found themselves staring up at a perfectly placed mistletoe hanging above them that Steven chuckled once more, mostly at the proud grin that struck at Sammy's lips in an instant.

"One of many?" he suggested, before nodding to the rest of the room and helping Steven spot the handful of mistletoes he had, not so sneakily, hidden all over to give him a reason to kiss him throughout the night — as if he needed anything more than the fact that he just wanted to. But, fully agreeing with the plan Sam had set out for them, Steven simply nodded while he threw his arms over his shoulders and gazed into his eyes, happy to be with him again. "Best Christmas ever", Sammy sighed, sounding almost like he was struggling to accept that he had ever gotten this lucky, found this incredible man with the most dashing smile and the biggest heart. 

And, while Steven did not have a bow on top of his head, nor colorful paper around him, he was surely the best present to grace his husband, and one that he wouldn't mind unwrapping and cherishing forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Fingers crossed we'll get Steven back tonight :) If not, then soon!
> 
> Thank you again for all your support, it really means the world to me. xx


End file.
